Tuesday, March 3

Milkless, Butterless, Eggless Cake

We might as well also call this cake Tasteless and Joyless. Bid Jensen, the creator of this recipe, was way ahead of her time with this one, which predates Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, and the modern health food craze. I think they sell a similar version of this cake at my local health food Co-Op, only they call it "Vegan" and charge $5 a slice for it.

Happy Birthday, DB!

2 c. flour
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. cloves
Little nutmeg (seriously, kids - go easy on the nutmeg; it's a known hallucinogen)
1 c. raisins
1 tbsp. melted shortenin (yuck. why not just use oil?)
1 c. sugar
1 1/4 tsp. bakin soda
1 c. liquid from raisins (super yuck. I bet that smells deliteful.)
1 tsp. vanilla

Oven temp: 350 degrees

Pan size: 9x12" pan (or 9x13, since that's actually the standard, but maybe ol' Bid wasn't so keen on the measurin?)

How to:
Stew raisins so there will be one cup of liquid. (maybe if you stewed them in booze, this cake wouldn't be Joyless anymore) Cool. (yeah, it would be cool if you stewed the raisins in liquor. nice to know we're on the same page, Bid) Put liquid in bowl and add soda, shortenin and sugar. Sift flour and measure. Then sift with salt, cinnamon, cloves and nutmeg. (all this siftin is gettin old fast) Beat 2 minutes - add raisins and vanilla. Serves 12. (So I guess we'll just forget the step where you actually bake the damned cake, and just call this a Milkless, Butterless, Eggless, Tasteless, Joyless, Bakeless Cake. But I'm guessin if you actually wanted to serve this, you'd bake it for about 30-35 minutes.)

Different spices may be used - to taste. (Oh, so this isn't a Tasteless cake after all, then is it? If I can choose whatever spices I want - to taste - then I choose cayenne, oregano, Paul Prudhomme's Salmon Magic, and a can of Van de Kamp's Pork n Beans. With Cool Whip on top.)