Chicken Lemone

Here's an...ahem...interestin recipe from Mrs. Betty Sanders, via friend of the blog Mrs. Gertrude Black.

On first read-through I said to myself, okay, what's so special about this? On second read-through I said out loud, "Now for heaven's sakes Betty, why the frozen lemonade? That's a rather odd choice for marinade." To which (in my imagination) Betty Draper replied, in between drags off a cigarette, "Who cares. I'm trapped in a loveless marriage under the repressive thumb of 1960's male chauvinism. You're lucky it's not marinated in Kool-Aid and whiskey."

At least the recipe name sounds French, so you can pretend you're Julia Child when tellin folks what you've made...

Ingredients:
Boneless breast of chicken (1 full breast per person - 2 pieces) (but what if I want to serve more than two people? what do I do then? I CAN'T DO MATH!)
Frozen lemonade (1 can for 4-6 servins) (this still has me shakin my head)
Grated rind of 1 lemon (fancy!)
Salt, pepper in flour for dredgin
Oil (what kind? oh who cares. I'm lucky it's not baby oil, right Bets?)

Oven temp: 350 degrees

Pan size: Who cares. Just try not to burn down the house.

How to:
Wash and pat dry chicken pieces. Place in a bowl. Lightly salt and pepper. Pour lemonade in a bowl and add to it the grated rind of lemon, stir to blend. Pour over chicken pieces. Cover and marinate for at least 8 hours. (8 hours!? why, that's like a whole day of work! what am I supposed to do, get up at the crack of dawn to make this recipe? well maybe it's just for those lucky stay-at-homers.)

To Prepare: Remove chicken from marinade and dredge with flour. Lightly brown in cookin oil (oh.) and place in a bakin pan. Cover with marinade and bake for approximately 1 hour at 350 degrees. Should come out moist, tender, and delicious. (If you say so, Betty...) Serve with rice and salad and vegetable (just one) for a delicious meal. (All right. I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt, but now I believe the lady doth say "delicious" too much...)

Cold Water Cocoa Cake

Welcome to the beautiful, newly-revamped version of Midwest Cookin! Just because the recipes are ugly don't mean the site has to be hideous.

To celebrate the reboot, let's have some cake with Erna Perry!

Ingredients
1/2 c. butter
1/8 tsp. salt
1 c. sugar
1 tsp. vanilla
1/3 c. cold water (you better make damn sure it's cold because that's the ingredient that makes this baby special)
1/2 c. cocoa
2 1/2 c. sifted cake flour (oooh, fancy! reminds me of Home Ec class)
1 c. cold water (yeah, more cold water - this ain't called Cold Water Cocoa Cake for nothin)
3 egg whites, beaten with
3/4 c. sugar
1 1/3 tsp. soda dissolved in small amount of boilin water (and what, pray tell, is a "small amount"? this is goin into the cake, so a little specificity would be appreciated....aw hell. I'm talkin to a brick wall here.)

Oven temp: 360 degrees (that's right - 360, not 350)

Pan size: 9x13-inch cake pan

How to:
Cream butter, salt, sugar, and vanilla. Blend and add cocoa and cold water blended. (huh?) Alternately blend cocoa mixture with flour and remainin cold water. (I feel an odd sense of deja vu) Fold in the beaten egg white-sugar mixture. Last add the soda mixture. Stir thoroughly. Bake 35 minutes.

This recipe has won several years at a county fair. (showoff. I wonder what you get if you "win several years"? calendars? time travel? does the island skip back to 1954?)

Macaroni and Cheese, Hamburger

Hmmm...I wonder what ingredients could possibly be in this recipe? Macaroni and cheese and hamburger, you say? Why, I never would have guessed!

Ingredients:
1 box macaroni and cheese dinner (go for the Kraft!)
1 lb. hamburger
1 can cream of mushroom soup (but of course!)
1/2 can milk (canned milk? or a random can filled halfway with milk? these are the things that keep me up at night.)
Onion

How to:
Prepare macaroni and cheese accordin to directions. Fry hamburger and onion. Add hamburger to prepared macaroni and cheese dinner; add soup and milk. Season with salt and pepper. Heat and serve. Very easy to make and tastes great. (Gee, I'll have to take your word on that "tastes great" part, Shirley. I think ketchup would make a lovely accompaniment, don't you?)

Cranberry and Chicken Delite

I always hate it when the word "delight" is spelled wrong, except in the case of the late 90's retrodiscofunkalicious group Deeeee-Lite (are they still around?). What, pray tell, makes this salad worthy of "delite"? Is it the 3 kinds of gelatin? The dill pickles?

Actually, it sounds like some crazy Midwestern pregnant lady was raidin her cupboards at 2 a.m. and decided to go with a "salad" for Fourth Meal. For your health!

Ingredients:
First Layer: (oooh, if layers are involved you know you're in for somethin interestin)
3 c. cranberry juice cocktail
1 pkg. strawberry gelatin
1 pkg. lemon gelatin
1 c. fruit cocktail (drained)
1 c. whole berry cranberry sauce (I assume this is not the kind that comes out can-shaped; then again, this is Midwest Cookin)

Second Layer:
2 envelopes unflavored gelatin (um)
1 (10 oz.) can condensed chicken broth (oh, I see. you're goin to make chicken broth jello. let me change that "um" to "yum"! heh...ha...ew.)
1 c. light cream
1 c. sour cream
1 c. tomato juice
Salt & pepper
2 c. chicken (diced & cooked)
1/2 c. celery (finely chopped)
1/2 c. dill pickles (finely chopped) (oh man, I almost lost it there - fruit cocktail, fruity jello, gelatinous chicken broth and pickles? what, did Mrs. Tairy Greene invent this recipe?)

Pan size: 9x13

How to:
Heat 1 c. cranberry juice to boilin. Add (fruity) gelatins and stir until dissolved. Stir in remainin juice. Chill until slightly thickened. Fold in fruit cocktail and cranberry sauce. Combine gelatin and chicken broth. Place over low geat ([sic]) and stir until gelatin is dissolved. Stir in cream, sour cream, and tomato juice. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Chill until slightly thickended ([sic] [again]). Fold in chicken, celery and pickles. Pour in a 9x13-inch pan and chill until firm. Pour cranberry layer on top and chill. Serve on greens. (Well, there you have it. There's what makes this a healthy salad. You serve it on greens, i.e., iceberg lettuce. DELITEFUL!)

Notable Canned Dinner

There are some times where I just crack open a recipe book and BOOM - a classic recipe perfect for the Midwest Cookin blog socks me right in the face. This is one of those times.

This recipe is courtesy of Dixie Rohle of Immanuel Lutheran Church, and I would love to ask her about the significance of the title. The "Canned Dinner" part of it is perfectly clear to me. But what about this makes it "Notable" I wonder? To investigate the worthiness of addin the word "Notable" to the title of this dish, I may try it myself w/tuna or crabmeat and sub regular cream of mushroom soup instead of the creamy chickeny concoction. I'll post an update if that actually happens. In the meantime...

Ingredients:
1 can tuna, chicken, turkey, or crabmeat (flaked)
1 can chow mein noodles (wait a sec - aren't those the crunchy noodles? I didn't think those came in a can...)
1 can Chinese vegetables
1 can creamy chicken mushroom soup (does this soup actually exist? I've heard of cream OF chicken and cream OF mushroom, but not creamy chicken mushroom. Must investigate...)
1 can celery soup (do you mean cream of celery soup? I will assume yes.)
Sliced water chestnuts (as desired) (FYI, though not explicitly stated here, these come in a can too)

Oven temp: 350 degrees

Pan size: 1 1/2 qt. casserole

How to:
Combine ingredients, savin part of the crisp noodles (ha! I knew it!) to put on top the last 5 minutes of bakin. Bake in a 1 1/2 qt. casserole at 350 degrees for 40 minutes.

Good Salad

I may sound like a bit of a conspiracy nut here, but the ingredients for this "Good Salad", are suspiciously close to those of Five Cup Salad (Winter Salad). Both are also from the 1974 Roosevelt Elementary School cookbook, so I must wonder...did Miss B. Wireman and Mrs. Charlene Montgomery hookup and do a little..."recipe swappin"? Isn't that what all the bored ladies of the 70's did on school days between "The Price Is Right" and "Ryan's Hope"?

Ingredients:
1 can mandarin oranges
1 small can pineapple tidbits (I love the word tidbits almost as much as I love oleo)
1 pkg. orange Jello (it's not a salad unless it has Jello!)
1 can whippin cream or 1/2 c. milk
juice of lemon

Pan size: "long pyrex pan"

How to:
Dissolve Jello in heated juices and lemon juice to make 1 c. liquid. ("Heated juices?" Did I miss a step somewhere?) Add 1 c. cold water. Chill and whip. (Whip the Jello? But it didn't do anythin wrong!) Add whippin cream, then fold in drained fruit. Fills a long pyrex pan. Serves 12 to 15.

Pork N' Beans Cake

You read that correctly. This is a cake made with pork n' beans. I need say no more.

Happy Birthday, Mrs. Tairy Greene!

Ingredients:
2 c. sugar
2 tsp. bakin soda
1 tsp. bakin powder
2 tsp. plain cinnamon (as opposed to fancy cinnamon)
1/2 tsp. salt
4 eggs
1 c. vegetable oil
1-16 oz. can drained pork and beans
2 c. plain flour
8 oz. can crushed pineapple
8 oz. cream cheese
2 tsp. vanilla
1/4 c. soft margarine

Oven temp: 350 degrees

Pan size: bundt pan

How to:
CAKE: mix all dry ingredients together. Add eggs and oil to mixture. Mash beans and mix with pineapple. Add this to above ingredients. Pour into a bundt pan and bake at 350 degrees for 40 to 45 minutes. ICIN: cream together all ingredients. Frost cake. "Surprisingly good." (I don't care what you say. I wouldn't eat this cake if you paid me. HOWEVER, I offer the same advice as I did for the SPAM truffles - take this to an office function and don't tell anyone what's really in it. Let your co-workers shovel it down and then reveal the surprise!)

Very Best Chicken Casserole

Hmm...I wonder what exactly makes this particular chicken casserole the VERY BEST? Is it the mayonnaise? The Velveeta? The two cans of "cream of " soup?

Yeah, I'd be willin to bet that the bestness of this dish comes from the massive amounts of sodium, fats, and calories found in all the ingredients save the chicken, rice, and vegetables. Let's thank Dorcas Society member Florence Matthias for this recipe, shall we? If I ever decide I want to gain 10 lbs and simultaneously raise my blood pressure, I'll give this one a try (with fake chicken, of course).

Ingredients:
3 c. chicken (diced) (uh...should the chicken be cooked first? guess I don't know too much about cookin with chicken)
3 c. rice (cooked)
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 tbsp. onion (chopped) (that's it?! no wonder this dish's flavor comes entirely from processed ingredients!)
1 tsp. salt (are you sure? do you know how much salt is in one of those cans of soup?)
1 c. mayonnaise dressin (does that mean Miracle Whip? I bet it would work here too)
4 boiled eggs (chopped)
2 tbsp. lemon juice
1 c. carrots (shredded)
1 c. celery (chopped)
1 c. Velveeta cheese (cut up)

Oven temp: 350 degrees

Pan size: 9x13 bakin dish

How to:
Mix all ingredients. Put in a 9x13-inch pan. Refrigerate overnight. Top with cracker crumbs. (FOUL! That wasn't in the ingredients list! Now I have to go back to the store!) Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes or until set. Serves 12 people.

Raisin Bars (Very Good!)

This recipe for bars is also from the Immanuel Dorcas Ladies' landmark book, Generations of Good Cookin. Bars are an important part of Midwest Cookin because they are like cookies but are much easier to tote to a potluck as a cold dish.

Marge Scheel provides us with this recipe for Raisin Bars (Very Good!). Apparently Marge needs to convince us of the bars' goodness, lest we be put off by the inclusion of health foods like raisins and oatmeal in the ingredients list.

Ingredients:
FLOUR MIXTURE:
1 1/2 c. flour
1 tsp bakin powder
1 c. brown sugar
1 1/2 c. quick oatmeal
3/4 c. butter

FILLIN:
2 c. raisins
1 1/2 c. hot water
1 c. sugar
2 tbsp. flour
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. ground cloves
1 tsp. vinegar (my guess is white or cider vinegar...I'm not sure that balsamic or red wine or rice vinegars would go too good with bars - like corn squeezins and pizza)
1 tbsp. butter

Oven temp: 325 degrees

Pan size: 9x13 bakin pan

How to:
For Flour Mixture: Put all together and work until thoroughly mixed. Press 2/3 of this mixture into a well greased and floured 9x13-inch pan. Save 1/3 for top.

For Fillin: Combine all ingredients for raisin fillin in a saucepan and boil until thickened, about 5 minutes. Spread over crumb mixture in the pan. Cover with remainin crumb mixture and bake at 325 degrees for 35 or 40 minutes. THESE ARE DELICIOUS. (Really, Marge, the added assurance at the end of the recipe is more of a turnoff for me. I mean, if that much convincin is needed...)