Hot Diggity-Hot Dish

Or, as I would prefer to call it, Hot Diggity-Food Poisonin. This hurlicious dish comes to us from Helen Murawski via Mrs. Gertrude Black. Again, keepin with the standard of great Hot Dishes everywhere, it appears that Ms. Murawski took the upcomin church potluck as an opportunity to clean out her fridge and pantry. I picture her tossin it all in a casserole and throwin it in the oven, sayin "I signed up for a hot dish. It's hot and it's in a dish. What more do they want?"

Ingredients:
2 c. macaroni, cooked (oh good, so it'll be nice and soggy by the time the dish has finished bakin)
1 lb. frankfurters, cut into quarters (frankfurters, as opposed to wieners. ugh. I just remembered what it's like to cut a hot dog in half.)
1 can creamed celery soup (in French accent: "buht ohf caourse!")
1 (8 oz.) tub sour cream (at room temperature) (that's just askin for trouble)
1 C. shredded carrots
1/2 C. chopped onion
1/4 C. chopped green peppers (oooh - adventurous vegetable)
1/2 tsp. dill weed (optional) (I'm not quite seein the connection between flavors here...would it add a pickly taste? )

Oven temp: 350 degrees (aka Standard Hot Dish Temp)

Pan size: greased 2-quart bakin dish

How to:
Prepare macaroni accordin to directions; drain. Preheat oven to 350. In large bowl, combine all ingredients and mix well (I can imagine that sound...squishy-squishy). Turn into greased 2-quart bakin dish (bibbidi-bobbidi-boo!). Cover and bake 30 to 35 minutes or until hot and bubbly. Makes 6 servins.

Chinese Bean Casserole

Here's another one from Erna, this time for a casserole that calls itself Chinese, though I am hard pressed to find anythin actually "Chinese" about this. If it were topped with chow mein noodles, or included water chestnuts, perhaps I could be swayed. But as it is, I think we can just chalk this one up as another ethnic-food-fakeout. Let's at least give the old gal props for not callin it "Oriental Bean Casserole".

Ingredients
1 can French cut beans
1 can wax beans, yellow (really, is there any other color of wax beans? and if they're canned, they're more "sallow" than "yellow")
1 can bean sprouts (oh, I bet this is where the "Chinese" comes from, because, y'know, only The Chinese eat those - that's why they're always branded "LaChoy" or "China Boy")
1 can cream of mushroom soup (it's not a casserole without one or more "cream-of" soups!)
1 can French fried onions for toppin

Oven temp: 350 degrees

Pan size: "greased bakin dish"

How to:
Mix first 3 cans. Mix in the can of mushroom soup. Put in a greased bakin dish, and bake 1/2 hour. Put onions on top the last 10 minutes. (Hey waitaminute...this is just a standard green bean casserole, but with bean sprouts thrown in. "Chinese", my Aunt Fanny!)

Noodle Puddin Delight

I've mentioned before my distaste of misspellin the word "delight" as "DELITE". Well, this recipe gets the spellin right, but I'll be damned if it gets anythin. Else. Right. At. All.

Like, when I read this recipe I literally puked and swallowed it. WHO would eat this? It's like somethin they'd serve in Gitmo to torture prisoners. It's like a dare. It's like, as loyal reader Ballz McCracken said, "they started a recipe, went to turn the page and some pages were stuck together, so they ended on another recipe." I couldn't agree more.

And does anybody want to guess who supplied this recipe to me? Yep. It was good ol' Mrs. Tairy Greene. Rats off to ya, Mrs. Greene! Keep on cookin!

Ingredients:
2 c. medium wide noodles
2 eggs
3 tbsp Heinz tomato ketchup
3 tbsp sugar
1 tbsp lemon juice
dash salt
1 tsp vanilla (eh?)
3 tbsp salad oil
1 can crushed pineapple, drained (what? WHAT?!)
1 c seedless raisins (raisins and ketchup? oh, HELL no!)

Oven temp: 400 degrees

Pan size: 1 1/2 quart casserole

How to:
Cook noodles in salted boilin water until tender and drain, rinse. Beat eggs with next 5 ingredients until well blended. Add drained noodles; stir in salad oil. Add pineapple and raisins; turn mixture into greased 1 1/2 quart casserole or individual casseroles. Bake 40-45 minutes or until set. (oh cripes, that does it.) Serve hot. Makes 6-8 servins. (I had to read the recipe twice before I realized where the "puddin" comes from. There's no puddin in it - the coagulated ketchup-egg-pineapple-oil-raisins mix makes its OWN puddin. Lunch ladies of the world, here's your new Friday special.)

Drunch Lunch

Hey everybody! I'm back after a long hiatus. But school's out now, so the recipes again will flow. I know you've all been clamorin for them.

This here recipe is called "Drunch Lunch," and it comes to us from Shirley Pries of Immanuel Lutheran Church. I have no idea what a "drunch" is. Maybe it's like a cross between "drench" and "lunch"? Or maybe "drunk" and "lunch" (because you'd have to be drunk to enjoy this)?

Either way, it really doesn't seem much like somethin you'd eat for lunch. This seems pretty breakfasty to me.

Hell, maybe "drunch" is just "brunch" spelled wrong.

Ingredients:
1 lb. sausage
4 slices bread (please people, make it white sandwich bread, mkay?)
1 c. cheese (grated)
6 eggs
1 c. milk
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. dry mustard

Oven temp: 350 degrees (but not until tomorrow)

Pan size: 9x13 bakin dish

How to:
Saute 1 lb. sausage; drain off grease. (GROSS - drainin grease is yucky) In a 9x13 pan, cube 4 slices of bread. Sprinkle sausage over bread and sprinkle 1 c. grated cheese on sausage. Beat eggs and milk, salt and dry mustard. Pour over sausage. Refrigerate overnight. Next mornin, bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes. (Y'know, there's somethin awfully familiar about this recipe. I bet if you changed the sausage to bacon in this one and made them both you could do a pretty sweet taste test type thing for your friends and family. You could call it the Drunch Brunch Lunch Casserole Challenge.)

Sloppy Joe Potato Pizza

Oh my god - this just may be more than I can handle right here.

See kids, I am the most devoted pizza freak I know. I'll eat any kind of pizza (unless it has sausage or, god forbid, hamburger on it) -- frozen pizza, homemade pizza, grocery store pizza, roller rink pizza, franchise pizza, pizzeria pizza. Pizza is my sacred cow. I could eat it every day because it's different every time. But this, this crosses a line.

For starters, where is the crust? Potatoes doused in cheese soup do not a pizza crust make. It's like a casserole minus the dish, that you make in a pizza pan and smother with cheese and olives (why always with the unnecessary olives, folks?). So, in my mind, the only way that this earns its right to be referred to as "pizza" is through the pan in which it's baked. It could only be more blasphemous if it were named Sloppy Joe Potato Jesus.

Ok. Sorry bout that. I'll end my rant now and get back to the cookin.

By the way, this comes from Marjorie Boehm and was unearthed from the 1989 Immanuel Lutheran Dorcas Cookbook. Dorkus.

Ingredients:
1 (32 oz.) bag frozen hash browns
1 (11 oz.) can cheddar cheese soup
1 egg
1 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. pepper
8 oz. cheddar cheese (shredded)
1 lb. ground beef (worst. pizza. toppin. ever.)
1 (15 1/2 oz.) can sandwich sauce for Sloppy Joe (she means MANWICH sauce, ladies)
2 tbsp. minced onion
2 tbsp. sliced ripe olives (optional)

Oven temp: 450 degrees

Pan size: pizza pan

How to:
To thaw potatoes quickly, place in sieve (or, y'know, you could just throw a few potatoes in a food processor and make instant FRESH hash browns). Pour hot water over potatoes; drain well. In a large bowl, mix together hash browns, soup, egg, salt and pepper. Spread potato mixture over a large buttered pizza pan. Bake in a 450 degree oven for 20 to 25 minutes. Meanwhile saute ground beef and onions; drain fat (mmmm fat!). Stir in canned Sloppy Joe sandwich sauce and simmer 5 minutes. Sprinkle 2/3 of cheese over baked potato crust. Spoon meat mixture over cheese and top with remainin cheese and olive slices. Bake 5 minutes longer. Makes 1 "pizza" (quotes added by me. so there. ha.).

Egg N Bacon Casserole

Mmmmm...breakfast. Good at any time of the day (because not everyone wakes up early in the mornin).

I am rather curious about this recipe and its call for bread at the bottom of the pan. Wouldn't that just turn into a soggy mess by the time you got around to bakin it the next day? Or maybe it turns into a delicious crust on emergin from the oven? Hmm. "Enquirin minds want to know!" (Yeah, I know that's spelled wrong, but I just had the tag line from the 80's commercials for the National Enquirer run through my head. Sidenote: Isn't it weird how they advertise tabloids on national television? Like we wouldn't see them in the checkout line at the grocery store anyway, and get sucked in by their tantalizin headlines? I mean, doesn't everyone - except celebrities and shut-ins - buy their own groceries? Okay, back to the recipe.)

Ingredients:
4 slightly beaten eggs
1/2 lb. bacon, fried and crumbled
1 c. milk
3 slices bread, cut in 4 pieces (in bottom of pan) (I assume that white sandwich bread is what is bein called for here, but if you wanted to stray from tradition, you could always sub some roasted garlic artisan bread, french loaf, or slices of baguette. Just sayin...)
1/3 c. Velveeta cheese, diced
Salt & pepper
Olives, opt. (what? olives? that's like the casserolic embodiment of the Sesame Street song "Which One Doesn't Belong?"!)

Oven temp: 350 degrees

Pan size: 9x9 bakin dish

How to:
Refrigerate overnight or several hours. Bake in 9x9 pan for 40-50 minutes. Serves 6. (Again with the vague directions! Do I combine the milk, eggs, and bacon? Does the cheese go on top? Am I supposed to just dump everythin in the pan all willy-nilly and only make sure that the bread slices make it to the bottom? Sigh. Perhaps I ask too many questions.)

Mr. Tairy Greene's Casserole

Oh, Mrs. Tairy Greene, you devil, you. Where oh where do you come up with these fantastic culinary confections?

This particular dish, I'm told, is a BIG favorite of Mrs. Tairy Greene's Mister. The real name is "Poor Man's Casserole" but I simply can't imagine why. I could totally see this bein served in the finest restaurants in Elk Run Heights.

Ingredients:
1 7.25 ounce box Kraft Macaroni and Cheese
1 c. milk
1/4 c. butter or margarine
***********************************
1 15 ounce can Van de Kamp Pork and Beans (make sure they're Van de Kamp - generic Pork and Beans simply will not do!)
1 3/4 c. cottage cheese
6 wieners, sliced into "coins"

How to:
Cook Kraft Macaroni and Cheese accordin to package directions. Pour contents into a medium-sized servin bowl. Open the pork 'n' beans and layer the room-temperature beans onto the mac 'n' cheese. Next, microwave the wieners for approximately 45 seconds. While the wieners are warmin, layer the cottage cheese onto the layer of beans. (oh, delightful) Finally, sprinkle the wiener coins onto the cottage cheese layer and serve to your hungry family. (Oh my god - you don't bake it? It's just all these lukewarm ingredients? Wowwww. That is some harsh shit. I pity the kids that eat this casserole.)

Note from Mrs. Greene: "Mr. Tairy Greene says the combination of flavors, temperatures and textures are what make this casserole out of this world! And moms, it's so easy! If only your family knew! ;)"

Notable Canned Dinner

There are some times where I just crack open a recipe book and BOOM - a classic recipe perfect for the Midwest Cookin blog socks me right in the face. This is one of those times.

This recipe is courtesy of Dixie Rohle of Immanuel Lutheran Church, and I would love to ask her about the significance of the title. The "Canned Dinner" part of it is perfectly clear to me. But what about this makes it "Notable" I wonder? To investigate the worthiness of addin the word "Notable" to the title of this dish, I may try it myself w/tuna or crabmeat and sub regular cream of mushroom soup instead of the creamy chickeny concoction. I'll post an update if that actually happens. In the meantime...

Ingredients:
1 can tuna, chicken, turkey, or crabmeat (flaked)
1 can chow mein noodles (wait a sec - aren't those the crunchy noodles? I didn't think those came in a can...)
1 can Chinese vegetables
1 can creamy chicken mushroom soup (does this soup actually exist? I've heard of cream OF chicken and cream OF mushroom, but not creamy chicken mushroom. Must investigate...)
1 can celery soup (do you mean cream of celery soup? I will assume yes.)
Sliced water chestnuts (as desired) (FYI, though not explicitly stated here, these come in a can too)

Oven temp: 350 degrees

Pan size: 1 1/2 qt. casserole

How to:
Combine ingredients, savin part of the crisp noodles (ha! I knew it!) to put on top the last 5 minutes of bakin. Bake in a 1 1/2 qt. casserole at 350 degrees for 40 minutes.

Hot Dish (Number 2)

As proven by the first recipe for HOT DISH, there is no shortage of mish-mash casseroles that can be tossed together at the last minute to bring as a hot dish for a church potluck or PTA get-together. Callin your casserole a HOT DISH shows that you are no-nonsense. Who needs fancy names when you're just lookin to fix a dish that is hot?

Ingredients:
Hamburger (how much? doesn't say.)
onions (how many? who knows?)
salt (no measurement? is it just me or is this recipe incredibly vague?)
pepper
1 can cream of chicken soup (hooray! I heart "cream of" soups!)
1 can milk (like evaporated milk or somethin?)
1 can vegetable soup
tater tots

Oven temp: ??? (Your guess is as good as mine. 350? 400?)

Pan size: a standard bakin dish will do the trick

How to:
Fry hamburger with onions, salt and pepper. After it's done, add chicken soup, milk, vegetable soup, put in bakin dish. Sprinkle tater tots on top. Bake 1/2 hour to 45 minutes.

From Mrs. Donovan Nash (Well, thanks tons Mrs. Donovan Nash, but the mix of cooked hamburger with milk, cream of chicken soup, and vegetable soup sounds kind of like what you get when you hose out a Dumpster.)

Potluck Casserole

Like "Hot Dish" before it, this casserole smacks of hastily-thrown-togetherness. This recipe comes from the 1975 First Lutheran Church cookbook and the contributor is none other than my own Granny. Why the lima beans, Granny? Why?

Ingredients:
2 lbs. hamburger
1 lg. onion, diced
1 c. celery, diced
1 can green lima beans, undrained
2 cans spaghetti (cans? oh - like the Franco-American kind. I used to actually enjoy that stuff)

Oven temp: 325 degrees

How to:
Fry hamburger, onion and celery. Drain excess grease. Add undrained lima beans and spaghetti. Bake 1 hour at 325 degrees, uncovered. (I presume a standard casserole or bakin dish could be used for this recipe. Overall, this doesn't seem TOO terrible...but the canned lima beans are a total turnoff for me. I love fresh and frozen lima beans, but canned? Blecch.)

Very Best Chicken Casserole

Hmm...I wonder what exactly makes this particular chicken casserole the VERY BEST? Is it the mayonnaise? The Velveeta? The two cans of "cream of " soup?

Yeah, I'd be willin to bet that the bestness of this dish comes from the massive amounts of sodium, fats, and calories found in all the ingredients save the chicken, rice, and vegetables. Let's thank Dorcas Society member Florence Matthias for this recipe, shall we? If I ever decide I want to gain 10 lbs and simultaneously raise my blood pressure, I'll give this one a try (with fake chicken, of course).

Ingredients:
3 c. chicken (diced) (uh...should the chicken be cooked first? guess I don't know too much about cookin with chicken)
3 c. rice (cooked)
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 tbsp. onion (chopped) (that's it?! no wonder this dish's flavor comes entirely from processed ingredients!)
1 tsp. salt (are you sure? do you know how much salt is in one of those cans of soup?)
1 c. mayonnaise dressin (does that mean Miracle Whip? I bet it would work here too)
4 boiled eggs (chopped)
2 tbsp. lemon juice
1 c. carrots (shredded)
1 c. celery (chopped)
1 c. Velveeta cheese (cut up)

Oven temp: 350 degrees

Pan size: 9x13 bakin dish

How to:
Mix all ingredients. Put in a 9x13-inch pan. Refrigerate overnight. Top with cracker crumbs. (FOUL! That wasn't in the ingredients list! Now I have to go back to the store!) Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes or until set. Serves 12 people.

Hot Dish

Ahhhh yes. This is what I've been waitin for. Simple, elusive, evasive...just what IS this Hot Dish you call food? Well, Caroline Steinkraus? Spill the beans...or...spill the Velveeta...whatever...

Ingredients:
1 box (2. c.) Creamettes macaroni (uncooked) (so...if you use a brand of macaroni other than Creamettes, will God strike you dead? I hope not...)
1-4 oz. pkg. dried beef (er...urrp...)
4 hard-cooked eggs (chopped)
2 cans cream of mushroom soup
2 c. milk
1/2 lb. Velveeta cheese
1 onion

Oven temp: 350 degrees

Pan size: 9x13 bakin dish

How to:
Combine in a 9x13 inch pan and let stand overnight in refrigerator. (WHY!!?!) Bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour. Makes 10 servings. (Y'know. This just feels like the kind of recipe that a good Lutheran Lady would come up with at the 11th hour as the Lutheran Potluck was fast approachin. Just sayin. It seems a little...forced.)

SPAM, Baked Beans And Pineapple Casserole

Today is a SPAM double special, courtesy of Mrs. Tairy Greene of Des Moines. Mrs. Greene is a big fan of the blog, and an even bigger fan of processed meats. Her cats, however, apparently don't take too kindly to chunks of SPAM bein tossed in their direction.

Mrs. Green writes, "Mittens smelled the SPAM and quickly ran away. Fruity tried to bury it like a turd in the litter box. Darkie hungrily ate every cube!" (It should be noted that Darkie is mentally-challenged.)

Included with her recipe suggestion were photos of the finished product. MMMMM!

Ingredients:
1 12-ounce can SPAM luncheon meat
1 28-ounce can baked beans (with molasses)
1 20-ounce can pineapple rings
2 tablespoons brown sugar

Oven temp: 350 degrees

Pan size: Standard casserole

How to:
Heat oven to 350 degrees. Open all cans. Cut SPAM into ¼-inch slices. Dump beans into the bottom of a medium or large oven-proof casserole dish. Artistically place SPAM slices atop beans (like stairs). Cover with pineapple rings and sprinkle with brown sugar. Bake uncovered 30-40 minutes until SPAM is browned and bean juice is bubblin. (Bubblin bean juice? Oh man I just puked and swallowed it.) Serves 4 to 6.

5-Can Casserole

Thanks, Elvice Rosencranz, for submittin this elegant recipe to the Immanuel Lutheran Dorcas Cookbook: Generations of Good Cookin!

Ingredients:
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 small can boned chicken (or other meat or tuna)
1 small can evaporated milk
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 can Chow Mein noodles

Oven temp: ??? (This really seems like somethin that should, at the very least, be heated. But the recipe doesn't say a temp or a bake time. Should you really eat cream of chicken soup raw? Oh dear, I just puked and swallowed it.)

Pan size: Casserole, greased

How to:
Mix into greased casserole. Crush potato chips or corn flakes on top. (Oh my god. What? That's it? Stir up some cold soups and crap and toss some potato chips on top and that's food? Sounds like "bomb shelter special" to me. If you have the balls to try this cold, let me know so I can give you props here on the blog.)

Hash Brown Casserole

Today, in honor of my Granny Bert Mickle's 77th birthday, I present to you one of her classic recipes, as recorded for posterity in the 1980 First Lutheran Church cookbook. Certain family members have attempted to copy this recipe in recent years, but the copycat dishes are always weak and soupy. Granny's original is still the best. Happy Birthday, Granny!

Ingredients:
1 pint sour cream
1/2 c. chopped onion
1 can cream of chicken soup (could sub cream of mushroom for a veggie version)
2 c. grated cheddar cheese
1 large bag frozen hash browns, 2 lbs.
1/2 c. melted margarine
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. pepper

Oven temp: 350 degrees

Pan size: 9x13 bakin dish

How to:
Mix all ingredients together, addin hash browns last. Spread in 9x13-inch ungreased and uncovered bakin dish. Bake at 350 degrees for 50 to 60 minutes.

Corn N' Broccoli Casserole

This recipe from Janet Pesch has the two staples without which Midwest Cookin could not exist: corn and casserole.

Ingredients:
1 can creamed corn
1 can whole corn (drained)
1 box Chicken In A Biskit crackers (m-m-m-m-MSG!)
1 stick margarine
1 10 oz. package frozen broccoli cuts

Oven temp: 350 degrees

Pan size: 8x8 bakin dish or standard casserole

How To:
Crush crackers and mix with melted margarine. Mix together corn, broccoli (which has been cooked a little) and half of the crumbs. Put in casserole and cover with remaining crumbs. Bake for 1/2 hour.

Double-Decker Dinner

This casserole recipe comes to us from the First Lutheran Church Cookbook, courtesy of a Mrs. Nancy Niedert. Bein vegetarian, I am not about to try this recipe myself - but if you're a brave carnivore and make the attempt, please send me a picture of the finished product and after I return from puking in the sink, I'll post it on the blog.

Ingredients:
1 egg, beaten
1/2 c. tomato juice
1 1/2 c. soft bread crumbs, 2 slices bread
3/4 tsp. salt
dash pepper
1 lb. ground beef, pork, lamb, veal, or 2 c. cooked ground ham
1-10 oz. package frozen chopped broccoli
1 1/4 c. boiling water
1 c. quick-cooking rice
1/2 tsp. minced, dried onions (regular onion can be used in place of dry if you want)
1 tsp. salt
1 c. milk
1 c. shredded American cheese
2 eggs, beaten

Oven temp: 350 degrees

Pan size: 8x8 square, 2" deep

Cook time: 50 minutes total

How To:
In a mixin bowl, combine the first beaten egg, tomato juice, bread crumbs, 3/4 tsp. salt and pepper. Add meat and mix well. Pat meat evenly in bottom of ungreased pan or bakin dish (go ahead and give it a good smack, you devil you). Bake for 20 minutes. Drain off excess juices (gag) when done.

Meanwhile, in a 1-1/2 quart saucepan, cook broccoli in the water accordin to directions on package. DO NOT DRAIN! (woah - flashback...) (If usin a microwave, omit this step, just mix ingredients together and bake.) Stir in rice, onion, and salt. Bring to boil. Remove from heat. Cover and let stand for 5 minutes. Stir in milk, half of the cheese, and the 2 beaten eggs. Spread mixture over baked meat. Return to bakin dish to oven and bake for 30 minutes or till rice mixture is firm. Sprinkle remainin cheese on top. Let stand 10 minutes before servin. (If usin microwave, you might want to return to oven for a couple minutes to melt cheese.) (you, my dear Nancy, are a parentheses hog)

If usin ham, decrease salt. (why? because ham is salty? is that really goin to make a difference in the health benefits of this food?) May be done in microwave, but reduce water to 1/2 the amount. Recipe may be doubled without any problems (oh phew, I was worried), put in loaf cake pan.